Therapy approaches, explained

Adlerian therapy

Feeling not good enough is where everyone starts, not a defect. Adler asked where that feeling takes a person: towards cooperation and contribution, or towards avoidance and going it alone.^[3,4]

Start with the basics Meet our team

Feelings of inferiority are normal, and we need to compensate for them, but that compensation takes wisdom: we have to notice whether we are sometimes compensating too much.

5-Minute Psychology, "What is an inferiority complex? Adler on compensation and overcompensation"

What is Adlerian psychology?

1The worldview

Three directions: lack, goal, connection

Alfred Adler (1870–1937) was a Viennese physician who joined Freud's discussion circle early on, left it in 1911 over differences in theory, and went on to found "individual psychology". "Individual" here means indivisible: Adler saw a person as one whole, with thoughts, feelings, behaviour and even bodily responses all moving in one direction, not as parts such as id, ego and superego pulling against each other. He also put weight on the groups a person lives in (family, school, work, society), so to understand someone you look at how they live within relationships.^[4,5,6]

Adler held that everyone starts from lack: an infant is small and dependent, and the people around are stronger and know more. This feeling of inferiority is universal and normal. It is not an illness but the force that drives growth: it makes us want to make up for it, move forward and become more complete. He first called this direction striving for superiority, and later put more weight on striving for completion and meaning. Trouble comes from how we compensate: when the feeling becomes a reason to avoid, or compensation overshoots into having to beat others all the time, it becomes what is called an inferiority complex.^[2,4]

The same striving can run to two extremes. Adler told them apart by social interest (German Gemeinschaftsgefühl, also translated community feeling): a sense of belonging with others and a wish to contribute to shared life, which for Adler was the measure of psychological health. Striving that connects with others and contributes is healthy; striving only for one's own rank and for winning tends to end in isolation. As one textbook puts it, Alfred Adler "was always concerned with 'social interest and community feeling'".^[1,3,4]

So where is a person heading? Adler's answer is teleological: behaviour is understood from the goal it aims at, not only explained by past causes. In early childhood we form, from family, circumstances and our own experience, a view of ourselves, other people and the world, with matching goals. This is the style of life. It often contains private logic, reasoning that makes sense only inside our own head and has never been checked with others, such as "unless I do it perfectly, I'd rather not do it". Therapy brings that view out so the two of you can look at whether it still serves.^[4,5]

Adler's view can be summed up in three parts that pull on one another. Feeling lacking gives the energy, the goal gives the direction, and connection with others decides whether that energy ends up as contribution or as a lonely contest. Change any one and the others move too.

Feeling lackingThe sense of "I'm not enough" is what drives us forward
Aiming at a goalStyle of life and private logic: what I'm aiming at, and what it costs
ConnectionSocial interest: belonging, cooperating and contributing

The goals behind a child's misbehaviour: discouragement, shallow to deep

Rudolf Dreikurs carried Adler's view into parenting and the classroom, proposing that children's misbehaviour often serves one of four mistaken goals: attention, power, revenge and displayed inadequacy. His point was that a misbehaving child is a discouraged child, using the wrong means to win a place; each layer down is deeper discouragement. One clue is the adult's own feeling: annoyed suggests attention, provoked suggests power, hurt suggests revenge, helpless and despairing suggests inadequacy. This is a hypothesis to check, not a diagnosis, and a learning difficulty or health problem has to be ruled out first. The four layers below share one scene: a child who won't do homework.^[8,9]

Note that none of the four is ill will; each is the same need, to belong and to matter. So the aim is not to beat the child but to step out of the pattern while offering a better road: undivided time together, choices, consequences, and noticing effort.

1Attention
"If you notice me, I have a place." The adult feels annoyed; the child stops for a moment after a reminder, then starts again.
Dawdling, waiting for one more nudge
2Power
"I'm in charge; you can't make me." The adult feels challenged and angry, and the more they push, the more the child pushes back.
"I won't, and you can't make me!"
3Revenge
"I'm hurt, so you will be too." The adult feels hurt and may want to hit back.
Tearing up the homework: "All you do is shout at me!"
4Displayed inadequacy
"I can't do it; stop expecting anything of me." The adult feels helpless and wants to give up. This is the deepest discouragement.
Sitting motionless: "I can't."

2The method

Four phases: from relationship to reorientation

Adlerian therapy has a clear path, usually described as four phases that also loop back: first an equal, cooperative relationship; then an understanding of the client's style of life; then seeing together the goal and blind spots within it; finally trying a new road. Encouragement runs through all of it, because Adlerians hold that whatever the problem looks like, its core is discouragement, and therapy's job is to restore the courage to face life's tasks. The phases map onto the three directions above: assessment sees the lack and the goal, insight takes apart the private logic, and reorientation brings the new goal back into relationships.^[5,7]

1RelationshipEqual, respectful, cooperative; agree goals you both wantConnection
2AssessmentLifestyle interview: family constellation, early recollections, how the three life tasks standFeeling lackingAiming at a goal
3InsightSeeing together the private logic, the goal and its costAiming at a goal
4ReorientationTrying new thoughts and actions, with encouragement, and carrying change back into life and relationshipsAiming at a goalConnection

An example: after a colleague is praised

1In a meeting your boss praises a colleague. Your stomach drops, and for days afterwards you keep putting off your own report.

Carried along by private logicAfter seeing the goal

Feeling lacking: what it says

Carried along by private logic"I'm not as good as they are; if people see it, I'm finished."

After seeing the goal"I feel lacking because I care a lot about doing this well."

Aiming at a goal: what it wants

Carried along by private logic"Unless it's the best, I'd rather not hand it in."

After seeing the goal"Hand in one that's good enough, then improve it."

Connection: how to face colleagues

Carried along by private logicAvoiding colleagues, afraid of comparison

After seeing the goalShowing a colleague the rough draft and asking for a view

Afterwards

Carried along by private logicThe report slips, and you feel even less able

After seeing the goalThe report goes in on time, imperfect; the colleague is willing to help

Set against the phases above: "unless it's the best, I'd rather not hand it in" is the private logic found in assessment; insight is seeing that it protects you from being compared, at the price of more delay and isolation; reorientation is trying it out "as if", and bringing a little back into a relationship. The sense of lack hasn't gone; it just no longer tells you to run. Take one small step towards someone with a short exercise

3The skills

Eight ways of working, across the three directions

These are not a fixed sequence; the therapist chooses to fit the client's situation. They are grouped by the direction each mainly works on. Note that many Adlerian methods grew out of clinical and educational practice, and research on them is far thinner than their history, as the evidence section explains.

Feeling lacking: finding courage again

Not removing the feeling of lack, but no longer being stopped by it.

Encouragement: noticing effort, not only results
Encouragement is the most central Adlerian practice. It differs from praise: praise mostly answers results, a judgement handed down ("you're so clever"); encouragement answers effort, progress and contribution, affirming the person's courage and capacity so they feel able to face things ("I saw you try three times"). Adlerians hold that a discouraged person doesn't lack criticism; they lack belief that they can. Developmental research echoes this: in a classic study, children praised for being "smart" were more likely to give up after a hard problem and enjoyed it less, while children praised for effort persisted better.^[5,8,11]
Hear it in a session
1. Client
  I still didn't hand in that essay last week. I'm really useless.
2. Therapist
  It sounds like you're disappointed in yourself. Can you say whether, this week, you did even one thing to do with that essay?
3. Client
  …I opened the file and wrote two paragraphs. But they were bad, so I closed it.
4. Therapist
  While really not wanting to face it, you sat down and wrote two paragraphs. That took some courage. Am I right?
5. Client
  Maybe. But it's only two paragraphs.
6. Therapist
  The two paragraphs exist. "Bad" is your judgement, not necessarily fact. If next week you wrote one more and didn't mark it, would you be willing to try?
7. Client
  OK. One paragraph I can probably do.
Notice: The client is a university student who fears getting things wrong and puts things off. The therapist doesn't say "you're great" but names specific actions and the courage in them, and asks how the client sees it; the client doesn't fully believe it, just takes one sentence in. Encouragement doesn't talk discouragement away; it puts one more piece of evidence beside it.
Method based on^[5,8]

Aiming at a goal: seeing private logic

From early memories and what a symptom does, see the style of life, then try a new road.

Lifestyle assessment: family constellation and early recollections
In the assessment phase the therapist uses interview to understand your style of life. The family constellation covers the home you grew up in: who your parents and siblings were, how they related, and how you found your place among them. Early recollections ask for a few specific childhood memories; Adler held that the memories people keep tend to fit their present style of life and goals, so the therapist listens for themes such as "I was left behind" or "I have to manage alone". These are only used to form hypotheses about you, checked with you, and you judge whether they fit. Research support for early recollections is only tentative.^[2,7,19]
"The Question": if this trouble were gone
A question Adler often asked was: "What would be different in your life if you were completely well?" (the Question). The answer often points to something the client wants to do and hasn't, and helps the therapist form a view of what the symptom may be "keeping you out of". That guess is offered carefully, and the client judges it. It resembles the miracle question in solution-focused brief therapy, which also asks a person to picture a future without the problem.^[4,5]
Try picturing the morning the problem is gone
Hear it in a session
1. Therapist
  I'd like to ask a slightly odd question: if tomorrow morning this anxiety were completely gone, what would be different in your life?
2. Client
  I'd probably go to the reunion, and have dinner with friends.
3. Therapist
  Going to the reunion, having dinner. During this year of not going, what has the anxiety kept you out of? I may be wrong, and you can say no.
4. Client
  …Maybe people seeing me lost for words.
5. Therapist
  Afraid of being seen lost for words. It sounds as if the anxiety is protecting you too. Does that fit?
6. Client
  Half right. But I also really miss my friends.
7. Therapist
  Both are true. If this week you acted as if you weren't afraid, and did just one small thing, what would it be?
8. Client
  Reply to my friend's message, maybe suggest coffee.
Notice: The client has skipped social gatherings for a year because of social anxiety. The therapist asks not "why are you anxious?" but "if it were gone?". After the answer, the therapist puts a hypothesis as a question, not a conclusion, and the client partly agrees and keeps their doubt. The change is small: willingness to try once "as if", rather than a promise to overcome the anxiety.
Method based on^[4,5]
"Acting as if": try it as though you could
In acting as if, the client agrees to behave for a set period as though they already had the courage, or had already changed, and see what happens: for one week, say, as if you didn't need to be perfect. It's an experiment, not pretending for life; afterwards the two of you look at what you found. It comes from Adler's idea of fictions, influenced by the philosopher Vaihinger: people act on imagined futures and goals.^[4,5]

Connection: carrying change into relationships

Practise cooperation and contribution in family, classroom and small daily acts.

Natural and logical consequences: neither punishing nor indulging
In parenting and classrooms, Adlerian parents and teachers favour consequences over punishment and lecturing. A natural consequence is what happens anyway (no coat, feel cold); a logical consequence is a related arrangement agreed in advance and delivered calmly (toys left out are put away for a while). The point is that the child learns from the choice, and the adult doesn't have to win by power. It works with the four goals above: once you see what the child is trying to win, you stop being led by it. Dreikurs's democratic parenting also insists on limits, being neither authoritarian nor permissive.^[8,9]
Hear it in a session
1. Client
  As soon as I tell him to do his homework he talks back, says "leave me alone", and then we argue.
2. Therapist
  In that moment, what do you feel?
3. Client
  Furious. I feel he doesn't respect me, and I get louder.
4. Therapist
  The feeling of being challenged. In Dreikurs's terms that is often a clue the child is contesting who is in charge. It's only my guess; does it fit?
5. Client
  A bit. He doesn't seem to like being told what to do at school either.
6. Therapist
  If this week you said it just once: "Homework before play; do you want to do it before dinner or after?", then stopped nagging and let him meet the result, would you try that?
7. Client
  Hard. I'll want to nag. But I can try.
8. Therapist
  Slipping is fine; just notice it next time. Next week we'll see what you found.
Notice: This is parent consultation; the marker is "the more I nag, the more he argues back". The therapist doesn't teach the parent how to win, but asks first about her feeling (irritation, rising when she feels challenged), uses it as a clue, then offers a hypothesis; the parent partly accepts it and says she finds it hard not to nag. Together they set a very small trial: say it once this week, and offer a choice. The change is partial, and the parent expects to slip a few times.
Method based on^[5,8]
The family council: deciding together
A family council is a regular weekly time when the whole family sits down, takes turns to speak, and decides chores, rules, holidays and conflicts together, each voice counting equally and decisions kept by all. Children learn that their voice carries weight and that shared life takes cooperation and contribution, which is social interest practised at home. Classrooms have a similar practice, the class meeting.^[8,9]
"Whose task is this?": sorting out responsibility
"Separation of tasks" became widely known through The Courage to Be Disliked: ask "who ends up bearing the consequences of this?"; what belongs to the other person, you don't decide for them or take responsibility for their feelings; what is yours, you carry. It is close to Adlerian parenting practice of letting children meet the consequences of their choices and asking whose problem it is. But the book states it in absolute terms; in real life we also have a duty to support the people near us, so it does not mean "your business has nothing to do with me". Sorting out responsibility is to see more clearly where you can help and where to let go.^[8,10]
Contribution, starting small
Social interest is not a lofty ideal. In the reorientation phase, Adlerian therapy often asks the client to do one small thing: greet someone, give a colleague a small hand, join a group. What matters isn't how much, but turning attention from "am I good enough?" to "what can I bring to someone else?". For a lonely person it usually starts with one hello.^[3,5]
Try sending one hello

The dialogues are illustrative composites, not real clients; skills that stir strong emotion or touch on trauma should be done with a trained therapist.

What does a course of Adlerian therapy look like?

Now you know how it sees a person and how it works. The next questions: what is it actually like, does it work, and what is it not for?

There is no fixed number of sessions: it can be brief counselling for a specific difficulty or a longer exploration, agreed with your therapist. The therapist's stance is that of an equal collaborator, not a distant expert, and the client doesn't lie on a couch. The usual flow is this.^[5,7]

1Build the relationship, set goalsThe therapist is curious about your situation without judging; together you set the goals you want.
2Understand your style of lifeTalk about your family, how you grew up, early memories, and how work, love and relationships stand now.
3See the patterns togetherThe therapist puts observations as hypotheses to check: what you're aiming at and what it costs. You can agree or disagree.
4Try a new roadWith encouragement, acting as if and small experiments, carry new thoughts and actions into life, noticing connection with others.
5Consolidate and endLook back over the road travelled, recognise your own courage, and prepare for when old patterns return.

What can Adlerian work help with?

Its range of use is wide because it is about how people face life and relationships. But the research above supports only a few of the areas below.^[12,14,15]

Children's behaviour problems (play therapy)
Parenting and family relationships, parent education
Persistent emotional distress (group counselling)
Low self-worth, perfectionism and procrastination
Feeling stuck in relationships and at work
Schools and classroom management

Everyone is different. If you are thinking of hurting yourself or ending your life, please don't face it alone: call The Samaritans' 24-hour line on 2896 0000, or 999 in an emergency.

Does it work? What the research says

To be honest, the research evidence for Adlerian work is thin. It has a long history and wide influence, but controlled studies are few, samples are mostly small, many are run by the method's developers or supporters, and very few compare it directly with other established therapies. Every item below is "more evidence needed", listed from relatively firmer to weaker.

Children's behaviour problems (Adlerian play therapy)
A randomised trial (children randomly assigned to groups) of 58 primary-school children with disruptive classroom behaviour, rated by teachers and raters who didn't know the grouping, found markedly fewer behaviour problems in the group given Adlerian play therapy, and less stress in the teacher–child relationship. A review of trials from 2003 to 2023 found that both cognitive behavioural and Adlerian play therapies helped children's behaviour problems. But the trial was run by the method's developers, is small, was done in schools rather than clinics, and had no comparison with another therapy.^[12,13]
Adult group counselling (hwa-byung in Korean women)
A study of 38 middle-aged Korean women (22 in an Adlerian-designed group, 16 on a waiting list) found that after the group, symptoms of hwa-byung (distress linked to long-suppressed anger), depression and anxiety were all clearly lower, and still so 4 weeks later; and a rise in social interest partly explained the improvement in symptoms and depression, as Adlerian theory would predict. But assignment wasn't random, numbers were small, follow-up was only 4 weeks, and the group was very specific.^[14]
Parent education and parent counselling
The best-known Adlerian parenting course is STEP (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting). A controlled study of just 18 parents at risk of abusing their children found that after STEP they saw their children more positively and had lower potential for abuse. An Italian study of Adlerian counselling for parents of daughters with eating disorders found greater overall improvement in the patients once starting severity was taken into account, but without random assignment. A review has gathered the research on Adlerian, other and behavioural parent-training programmes. Overall, behavioural parent training (such as groups for children's conduct problems) has a far better evidence base, while the Adlerian approach is still thin.^{[15,16,17,18]}
Compared with other therapies
The studies above mostly compare with a group given no extra help, not with another established therapy, so we do not yet know whether Adlerian work does better, about the same or worse than CBT and others. For the problems adults most often bring, such as depression and anxiety, there are also not enough large studies.^[12,14,15]
Adler's own assessment ideas
Whether early recollections reflect a person's style of life has only tentative research support, and many studies had methodological flaws. The claim that birth order shapes personality has not held up in large studies: two large studies found only tiny effects at most, or none. So these assessment tools are fit only for forming hypotheses to be checked, never for conclusions.^[19,20,21]

So Adlerian core insights, such as encouragement, attention to goals and social interest, are reasonable and overlap with many later ideas in psychology, but reasonable is not the same as shown better than other methods. It is best to choose it because its view means something to you, and to accept that its research base is still growing.^[5,22,23]

To be honest: Adlerian limits, and The Courage to Be Disliked

Beyond the thin evidence, a few things are worth knowing. In the Chinese-speaking world especially, many people know Adler through 《被討厭的勇氣》 (The Courage to Be Disliked, by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga).^[5,10,19,20]

1The book is Kishimi and Koga's presentation, not Adler's work

In a dialogue between a philosopher and a youth it presents Adler's teleology, separation of tasks, community feeling and encouragement, and it gave many people their first meeting with Adler, which is its contribution. Most of these themes do come from the Adlerian tradition. But it is also the authors' philosophy: some positions are harder than Adler's own or than clinical Adlerian therapy, such as "trauma does not exist" and a flat ban on both praise and rebuke. Adler did say experience does not determine us, the meaning we give it does; but that doesn't deny the harm abuse and trauma cause. Take care in reading the book's conclusions as a prescription for your own situation.

2"Not determined by the past" is not "the past doesn't matter"

Adler stressed goals, yet his assessment phase spends a good deal of time on the family you grew up in and early experience. His point is that the past works through our interpretation, and interpretation can change; he wasn't denying the past. For people who have suffered serious harm, the difference matters.

3Birth order is folklore, not evidence

"The eldest is responsible, the youngest is playful, the middle child is overlooked" is everywhere and often attributed to Adler. Adler did care about a person's place in the family, but larger studies today have not found reliable effects of birth order on personality. It can serve as a prompt for reflection, but shouldn't be used to label people.

4Assessment rests on the therapist's interpretation

Reading a style of life or early recollections depends on the therapist's judgement, and research offers only tentative support. A good therapist treats them as hypotheses for you to judge. If someone declares "you are like this because…", stay sceptical.

5For more severe conditions, even less research

The studies above mostly involve people without severe diagnoses. For severe depression, trauma or conditions needing specialist treatment, seek treatments with firmer research first; Adlerian work can be a complement.

So Adlerian psychology is a gentle view that values connection between people, not a cure-all; a good therapist fits it to your situation alongside methods with firmer research.

Adlerian videos

Episodes are in Cantonese.

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Start with this one自卑情結是甚麼？阿德勒的補償與過度補償「自卑到自大」其實源自心理學家阿德勒所說的自卑情結：阿德勒認為自卑感是每個人與生俱來、無可避免的，因為我們在嬰兒時期完全無助，深感不如父母。重點不是消除自卑，而是學會用智慧去補償它——既可化為追求卓越與意義的動力，也要警惕變成不擇手段或徒勞無功的過度補償。Listen to the episode· About 14 min

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如何設立個人界線？阿德勒心理學課題分離
如果你常常覺得自己的人生是為了別人而活，關鍵在於分清楚哪些是自己的責任、哪些是別人的責任。這集用三個方法幫你設立健康的個人界線：為關係訂下不可退讓的「決定性因素」（deal breaker）、釐清行為層面的個人界線，以及運用阿德勒心理學的「課題分離」概念，學會把屬於別人的情緒和課題交還給對方，重新為自己而活。
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A self-guided Adlerian path

To explore on your own first, start with these four steps. Deeper exploration of your style of life is best done with a therapist.

Courses

Beyond Adlerian therapy: other approaches

Many of Adler's ideas were later absorbed or redeveloped by other approaches. Here are a few neighbours.

Person-centred therapyAlso stresses an equal relationship, and Adler is seen as an influence on humanistic psychology. Person-centred work mostly lets the client find their own direction; Adlerian therapy more actively offers goals and hypotheses to check together.^[23]
Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)Also attends to a person's beliefs about themselves and the world, and researchers have drawn out the points where the two meet. CBT's research base is far larger; Adlerian work says more about life goals and one's place among people.^[22]
Psychodynamic therapyWhere Adler parted ways: Freud stressed drives and the past, Adler goals, the future and social context.^[5]
Solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT)Adler's Question resembles SFBT's miracle question, both asking a person to picture a future without the problem. SFBT is briefer and says less about early experience.^[5]

Other therapy approaches

FAQ

Is The Courage to Be Disliked Adlerian psychology?

Not entirely. Kishimi and Koga wrote it as a dialogue introducing Adler's main ideas, such as teleology, separation of tasks and community feeling, and it is a good way in. But it also carries the authors' own philosophy and emphases, and some statements are harder than Adler's own or those of clinical Adlerian therapy. To check, compare with Adler's own writing or a textbook on Adlerian therapy.^[5,10]

Did Adler say the past doesn't matter?

No. He said that past experience doesn't decide us by itself: our interpretation of it, and the goals set from it, guide present behaviour. So Adlerian therapy explores early experience and also asks where you want to go now.^[2,5]

How does Adler differ from Freud?

They worked together until Adler left in 1911 over theory. Freud mostly explained people through drives and unconscious conflict; Adler saw a person as a whole and stressed goals, social context and social interest. The therapy relationship is also more equal.^[4,5]

Does birth order really shape personality?

In the large studies so far, any effect is tiny or absent. Adler cared about a person's place in the family, but claims like "firstborns are always…" have no reliable evidence.^[20,21]

Is it wrong to praise children?

You needn't avoid it completely, but mind how. Adlerian practice favours encouragement: describing a child's effort, progress and contribution rather than only judging them clever or good. Research found children praised as "smart" were more likely to give up on hard problems.^[8,11]

How many sessions does Adlerian therapy take?

There is no fixed answer. It can be brief counselling for a specific difficulty or a longer exploration, agreed with your therapist.^[5]

Where can I learn more about Adlerian psychology?

Start with Adler's own What Life Should Mean to You and the Ansbachers' anthology of his writings, or visit the North American Society for Adlerian Psychology website for training and resources.^[2,4,24]

References

1.Feltham, C., & House, R. (2017). The politics of counselling psychology. In D. Murphy (Ed.), Counselling psychology: A textbook for study and practice (BPS Textbooks in Psychology). Wiley. (Chapter 22, section: Wider applications of counselling psychology theory, and crossovers.)
2.Adler, A. (1931). What life should mean to you. Little, Brown.
3.Adler, A. (1938). Social interest: A challenge to mankind (J. Linton & R. Vaughan, Trans.). Faber & Faber.
4.Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. (Eds.). (1956). The individual psychology of Alfred Adler: A systematic presentation in selections from his writings. Basic Books.
5.Carlson, J., Watts, R. E., & Maniacci, M. (2006). Adlerian therapy: Theory and practice. American Psychological Association. doi.org/10.1037/11363-000
6.Oberst, U. E., & Stewart, A. E. (2003). Adlerian psychotherapy: An advanced approach to individual psychology. Brunner-Routledge. doi.org/10.4324/9781315820262
7.Mosak, H. H., & Maniacci, M. P. (1999). A primer of Adlerian psychology: The analytic–behavioural–cognitive psychology of Alfred Adler. Brunner/Mazel.
8.Dreikurs, R., & Soltz, V. (1964). Children: The challenge. Duell, Sloan & Pearce.
9.Dreikurs, R., Grunwald, B. B., & Pepper, F. C. (1971). Maintaining sanity in the classroom: Illustrated teaching techniques. Harper & Row.
10.Kishimi, I., & Koga, F. (2018). The courage to be disliked: How to free yourself, change your life and achieve real happiness. Atria Books. (Original work published 2013.)
11.Mueller, C. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children's motivation and performance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(1), 33–52. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.75.1.33
12.Meany-Walen, K. K., Bratton, S. C., & Kottman, T. (2014). Effects of Adlerian play therapy on reducing students' disruptive behaviors. Journal of Counseling & Development, 92(1), 47–56. doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6676.2014.00129.x
13.Sertkaya Fidan, B., & Ulusoy Doğmuş, Y. (2026). The effectiveness of cognitive behavioral and Adlerian play therapies in children aged 3–12 years: A systematic literature review. Research on Social Work Practice, 36(3), 248–267. doi.org/10.1177/10497315251316182
14.Kim, E., Seo, J., Paik, H., & Sohn, S. (2020). The effectiveness of Adlerian therapy for hwa-byung in middle-aged South Korean women. The Counseling Psychologist, 48(8), 1082–1108. doi.org/10.1177/0011000020946799
15.Fennell, D. C., & Fishel, A. H. (1998). Parent education: An evaluation of STEP on abusive parents' perceptions and abuse potential. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 11(3), 107–120. doi.org/10.1111/j.1744-6171.1998.tb00022.x
16.Amianto, F., Bertorello, A., Spalatro, A., Milazzo, M., Signa, C., Cavarero, S., Abbate Daga, G., & Fassino, S. (2014). Adlerian parental counseling in eating disorders: Preliminary data of a controlled clinical trial. Eating and Weight Disorders, 19(3), 303–314. doi.org/10.1007/s40519-013-0079-y
17.Mooney, S. (1995). Parent training: A review of Adlerian, parent effectiveness training, and behavioral research. The Family Journal, 3(3), 218–230. doi.org/10.1177/1066480795033005
18.Furlong, M., McGilloway, S., Bywater, T., Hutchings, J., Smith, S. M., & Donnelly, M. (2012). Behavioural and cognitive-behavioural group-based parenting programmes for early-onset conduct problems in children aged 3 to 12 years. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, 2012(2), CD008225. doi.org/10.1002/14651858.CD008225.pub2
19.Watkins, C. E., Jr. (1992). Adlerian-oriented early memory research: What does it tell us? Journal of Personality Assessment, 59(2), 248–263. doi.org/10.1207/s15327752jpa5902_3
20.Rohrer, J. M., Egloff, B., & Schmukle, S. C. (2015). Examining the effects of birth order on personality. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 112(46), 14224–14229. doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1506451112
21.Damian, R. I., & Roberts, B. W. (2015). The associations of birth order with personality and intelligence in a representative sample of U.S. high school students. Journal of Research in Personality, 58, 96–105. doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2015.05.005
22.Dowd, E. T., & Kelly, F. D. (1980). Adlerian psychology and cognitive-behavior therapy: Convergences. Journal of Individual Psychology, 36, 119–135. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
23.Ansbacher, H. L. (1990). Alfred Adler's influence on the three leading cofounders of humanistic psychology. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 30(4), 45–53. doi.org/10.1177/002216789003000404
24.North American Society for Adlerian Psychology. (n.d.). Alfred Adler and Adlerian psychology. alfredadler.org

Want someone alongside you?

You can do the exercises on your own. When you're stuck, a trained therapist can take you further.

Book therapy

FAQ

Is The Courage to Be Disliked Adlerian psychology?

Did Adler say the past doesn't matter?

How does Adler differ from Freud?

Does birth order really shape personality?

In the large studies so far, any effect is tiny or absent. Adler cared about a person's place in the family, but claims like "firstborns are always…" have no reliable evidence.^[20,21]

Is it wrong to praise children?

How many sessions does Adlerian therapy take?

There is no fixed answer. It can be brief counselling for a specific difficulty or a longer exploration, agreed with your therapist.^[5]

Where can I learn more about Adlerian psychology?

References

1.Feltham, C., & House, R. (2017). The politics of counselling psychology. In D. Murphy (Ed.), Counselling psychology: A textbook for study and practice (BPS Textbooks in Psychology). Wiley. (Chapter 22, section: Wider applications of counselling psychology theory, and crossovers.)
2.Adler, A. (1931). What life should mean to you. Little, Brown.
3.Adler, A. (1938). Social interest: A challenge to mankind (J. Linton & R. Vaughan, Trans.). Faber & Faber.
4.Ansbacher, H. L., & Ansbacher, R. R. (Eds.). (1956). The individual psychology of Alfred Adler: A systematic presentation in selections from his writings. Basic Books.
5.Carlson, J., Watts, R. E., & Maniacci, M. (2006). Adlerian therapy: Theory and practice. American Psychological Association. doi.org/10.1037/11363-000
6.Oberst, U. E., & Stewart, A. E. (2003). Adlerian psychotherapy: An advanced approach to individual psychology. Brunner-Routledge. doi.org/10.4324/9781315820262
7.Mosak, H. H., & Maniacci, M. P. (1999). A primer of Adlerian psychology: The analytic–behavioural–cognitive psychology of Alfred Adler. Brunner/Mazel.
8.Dreikurs, R., & Soltz, V. (1964). Children: The challenge. Duell, Sloan & Pearce.
9.Dreikurs, R., Grunwald, B. B., & Pepper, F. C. (1971). Maintaining sanity in the classroom: Illustrated teaching techniques. Harper & Row.
10.Kishimi, I., & Koga, F. (2018). The courage to be disliked: How to free yourself, change your life and achieve real happiness. Atria Books. (Original work published 2013.)
11.Mueller, C. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children's motivation and performance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(1), 33–52. doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.75.1.33
12.Meany-Walen, K. K., Bratton, S. C., & Kottman, T. (2014). Effects of Adlerian play therapy on reducing students' disruptive behaviors. Journal of Counseling & Development, 92(1), 47–56. doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6676.2014.00129.x
13.Sertkaya Fidan, B., & Ulusoy Doğmuş, Y. (2026). The effectiveness of cognitive behavioral and Adlerian play therapies in children aged 3–12 years: A systematic literature review. Research on Social Work Practice, 36(3), 248–267. doi.org/10.1177/10497315251316182
14.Kim, E., Seo, J., Paik, H., & Sohn, S. (2020). The effectiveness of Adlerian therapy for hwa-byung in middle-aged South Korean women. The Counseling Psychologist, 48(8), 1082–1108. doi.org/10.1177/0011000020946799
15.Fennell, D. C., & Fishel, A. H. (1998). Parent education: An evaluation of STEP on abusive parents' perceptions and abuse potential. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 11(3), 107–120. doi.org/10.1111/j.1744-6171.1998.tb00022.x
16.Amianto, F., Bertorello, A., Spalatro, A., Milazzo, M., Signa, C., Cavarero, S., Abbate Daga, G., & Fassino, S. (2014). Adlerian parental counseling in eating disorders: Preliminary data of a controlled clinical trial. Eating and Weight Disorders, 19(3), 303–314. doi.org/10.1007/s40519-013-0079-y
17.Mooney, S. (1995). Parent training: A review of Adlerian, parent effectiveness training, and behavioral research. The Family Journal, 3(3), 218–230. doi.org/10.1177/1066480795033005
18.Furlong, M., McGilloway, S., Bywater, T., Hutchings, J., Smith, S. M., & Donnelly, M. (2012). Behavioural and cognitive-behavioural group-based parenting programmes for early-onset conduct problems in children aged 3 to 12 years. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, 2012(2), CD008225. doi.org/10.1002/14651858.CD008225.pub2
19.Watkins, C. E., Jr. (1992). Adlerian-oriented early memory research: What does it tell us? Journal of Personality Assessment, 59(2), 248–263. doi.org/10.1207/s15327752jpa5902_3
20.Rohrer, J. M., Egloff, B., & Schmukle, S. C. (2015). Examining the effects of birth order on personality. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 112(46), 14224–14229. doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1506451112
21.Damian, R. I., & Roberts, B. W. (2015). The associations of birth order with personality and intelligence in a representative sample of U.S. high school students. Journal of Research in Personality, 58, 96–105. doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2015.05.005
22.Dowd, E. T., & Kelly, F. D. (1980). Adlerian psychology and cognitive-behavior therapy: Convergences. Journal of Individual Psychology, 36, 119–135. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
23.Ansbacher, H. L. (1990). Alfred Adler's influence on the three leading cofounders of humanistic psychology. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 30(4), 45–53. doi.org/10.1177/002216789003000404
24.North American Society for Adlerian Psychology. (n.d.). Alfred Adler and Adlerian psychology. alfredadler.org

Adlerian therapy

What is Adlerian psychology?

Three directions: lack, goal, connection

The goals behind a child's misbehaviour: discouragement, shallow to deep

Four phases: from relationship to reorientation

An example: after a colleague is praised

Eight ways of working, across the three directions

Feeling lacking: finding courage again

Encouragement: noticing effort, not only results

Aiming at a goal: seeing private logic

Lifestyle assessment: family constellation and early recollections

"The Question": if this trouble were gone

"Acting as if": try it as though you could

Connection: carrying change into relationships

Natural and logical consequences: neither punishing nor indulging

The family council: deciding together

"Whose task is this?": sorting out responsibility

Contribution, starting small

What does a course of Adlerian therapy look like?

What can Adlerian work help with?

Does it work? What the research says

Children's behaviour problems (Adlerian play therapy)

Adult group counselling (hwa-byung in Korean women)

Parent education and parent counselling

Compared with other therapies

Adler's own assessment ideas

To be honest: Adlerian limits, and The Courage to Be Disliked

1The book is Kishimi and Koga's presentation, not Adler's work

2"Not determined by the past" is not "the past doesn't matter"

3Birth order is folklore, not evidence

4Assessment rests on the therapist's interpretation

5For more severe conditions, even less research

Adlerian videos

如何設立個人界線？阿德勒心理學課題分離

A self-guided Adlerian path

Courses

Beyond Adlerian therapy: other approaches

Other therapy approaches

FAQ

References

Want someone alongside you?

Adlerian therapy

What is Adlerian psychology?

Three directions: lack, goal, connection

The goals behind a child's misbehaviour: discouragement, shallow to deep

Four phases: from relationship to reorientation

An example: after a colleague is praised

Eight ways of working, across the three directions

Feeling lacking: finding courage again

Encouragement: noticing effort, not only results

Aiming at a goal: seeing private logic

Lifestyle assessment: family constellation and early recollections

"The Question": if this trouble were gone

"Acting as if": try it as though you could

Connection: carrying change into relationships

Natural and logical consequences: neither punishing nor indulging

The family council: deciding together

"Whose task is this?": sorting out responsibility

Contribution, starting small

What does a course of Adlerian therapy look like?

What can Adlerian work help with?

Does it work? What the research says

Children's behaviour problems (Adlerian play therapy)

Adult group counselling (hwa-byung in Korean women)

Parent education and parent counselling

Compared with other therapies

Adler's own assessment ideas

To be honest: Adlerian limits, and The Courage to Be Disliked

1The book is Kishimi and Koga's presentation, not Adler's work

2"Not determined by the past" is not "the past doesn't matter"

3Birth order is folklore, not evidence

4Assessment rests on the therapist's interpretation

5For more severe conditions, even less research

Adlerian videos

如何設立個人界線？阿德勒心理學課題分離

A self-guided Adlerian path

Courses

Beyond Adlerian therapy: other approaches

Other therapy approaches

FAQ