Externalising conversation: name, effects, evaluation, reasons
White's statement of position map 1 has four kinds of question: first, negotiating an experience-near, particular definition of the problem (in your words, not a diagnostic term); second, mapping its effects across the areas of life, only those that matter most to you; third, your evaluation of those effects (is this OK with you? where do you stand?); fourth, your reasons. The fourth matters most: explaining why you won't accept the problem often names what you hold dear. The right to name is yours, and a name can be changed at any time.[2,3]
Hear it in a session
- Client
- Therapist
It turns up on time. I'd like to try asking differently: if you thought of it as something that has come into your life, rather than as you, what would you call it? If it doesn't fit, we can change it any time.
- Client
- Therapist
The “Not Good Enough” voice. What does it do? How does it make your life different?
- Client
- Therapist
How do you see those effects yourself? Are they OK, or do you not like them?
- Client
- Therapist
Could you say why you don't like them?
- Client
- Therapist
Caring about your work and about your family: these are things you hold dear. Have I heard that right?
- Client
- Therapist
Later we could look together for moments when “Not Good Enough” didn't have the last word. Would you like to try that?
- Client
- Therapist
No hurry; it's normal not to think of any yet. We'll look slowly.
Notice: The therapist asks consent before proposing a name, and the name is the client's (she says “like a voice”, and the therapist uses her word). Then come effects, evaluation and reasons, with no arguing against “I'm not good enough” and no “but you're actually fine”; once she says she cares about work and family, the therapist only checks they heard right. Change is small: she can't think of exceptions yet, and isn't pushed.




