An antisocial personality (Anti – Social Personaility Disorder) is more common than you might think: on average, about one in every 25 people has one. You are bound to come across someone like this in your own circle of friends, which is exactly why we have written this article — to help you recognise the type, understand it a little better, and clear up some of the misconceptions people hold about those with antisocial personalities.
What is a person with an antisocial personality?
For some readers, the first image that comes to mind is a group of people who simply cannot function in society and end up behind bars. The reality may be rather different from the popular assumption: many members of the social elite in fact have antisocial personalities, and a fair number of them hold senior management positions in multinational corporations or high office in government. Among people with antisocial personalities, there are some who are not only spared social exclusion but actually find that certain cold-blooded, unfeeling traits give them an innate advantage — making it easier for them to set out on the "path to the elite." It is this group we informally call high-functioning antisocial personalities, and it is this group the discussion below is concerned with (Robert Hare, the father of psychopathy research).
The main traits of a high-functioning antisocial personality include:
- Charming, sharp-witted, calm and composed by nature
- Articulate and persuasive, unflustered even under intense pressure
- Thinking governed by reason, rarely given to wishful fantasy
- Dishonest and unreliable
- Seldom feels shame or remorse
- Struggles to learn from experience
- A pathological self-centredness and a lack of the capacity to love
- No response in ordinary interpersonal relationships
- Finds it hard to see life plans through to the end
The points above are some simple psychological markers for judging whether you have an antisocial personality. People with antisocial personalities are extremely sharp when it comes to detecting where their own interests lie, and they are not easily swayed by emotion when weighing up different decisions. Their inner mode of thinking defaults to a self-interested point of view: if something is purely a matter of giving, with no potential benefit to be had in return, a person with an antisocial personality will simply refuse to take part. For example: when the mother of a friend with an antisocial personality passes away, the person with the antisocial personality cannot — and does not want to — sympathise with their friend, and may sometimes even cut that friend off without a second thought. As far as a person with an antisocial personality is concerned, even when a friend is in desperate need of comfort, they neither understand it nor wish to waste any of their time on it. This is "mind-blindness" — the inability to understand, feel, or empathise with the people and events around them.
Yet, even though people with antisocial personalities find it hard to see their life plans through, they never loosen their grip on their prey. Once they have settled on a target, they will use every means available to hunt it down. Even if it breaks moral codes or the law, they will carry it through to the end. M. E. Thomas, the author of Confessions of a Sociopath, recounts how she had never failed in securing the relationships, qualifications, and money she wanted — as long as she set her mind to it, she would use every method available to achieve her aim.
There are two films adapted from novels, Seeds and Into the White Night, as well as the television drama Don't Forget Me, whose female leads all belong to this type. If you are interested in understanding the chilling psychology of those with antisocial personalities, you can watch these films and dramas; they offer a complete picture of how such women stop at nothing to get what they want.
How people with antisocial personalities view rules
People with antisocial personalities differ from ordinary people in how they conceive of the law. They see laws as falling into two kinds. The first kind of law is the serious sort, concerned with the safety of people and property. The second kind of law exists only to keep society running or to maintain the rule of government. People with antisocial personalities refuse to obey laws of the second kind, because anything that serves the convenience of those in power, or the functioning of society, does not serve them — it works against their interests and infringes on the freedom they already possess. So they do not regard laws of the second kind as rules that must be followed. As Confessions of a Sociopath notes, most people with antisocial personalities live bisexual or homosexual lives.
How people with antisocial personalities approach romance
People with antisocial personalities develop their own distinctive way of surviving in society. They become aware that they are different from everyone else and that they need to put on an act in order to blend into the crowd. They learn, through observation, how people respond emotionally to things, gaining insight into what ordinary people need, and even noting other people's weaknesses — and then they try to exploit others for their own gain.
So when a person with an antisocial personality wants to pursue the object of their affection, their first step is to observe that person's psychological needs. They then set about meeting their target's needs, taking hold of the desires hidden in that person's heart, so that the other person cannot pull themselves away, falls into "deep love," and is unable to leave them. The difference from ordinary people is that ordinary people generally do not give much thought to this notion of "psychological needs"; in a romantic relationship they do not over-engineer the give and take. In short, they give what they have, make do without what they don't, and take a "whatever will be, will be" view of things. So when it comes to the techniques of manipulating a relationship, people with antisocial personalities have a slight edge over ordinary people. They are able to respond to another person's psychological needs and then transform themselves into the very appearance and manner of that person's "ideal partner."
But there is a kind of fairness to it: people with antisocial personalities have a very hazy grasp of the long run and the short run. They cannot sustain any relationship over the long term, and they lack the capacity to "love" another person.
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People with antisocial personalities and the stock market
Because people with antisocial personalities have no emotional baggage, they take a more objective view of risk and are more willing to take a gamble, so when a "crisis" appears, they are quicker to act. Contrast this with the mistakes ordinary people often make when buying shares — for instance, buying into a stock because the market is buzzing with excitement, then offloading it at a painful loss when the mood turns cold, or all those examples of buyers who try to call the bottom and refuse to cut their losses. These all show how differently ordinary people and people with antisocial personalities behave. People with antisocial personalities are not easily caught out by mistakes like these; they can cut their losses without the slightest hesitation, unmoved by emotion.
People with antisocial personalities have an utterly self-interested, rational mind, and a natural, keen perception of their surroundings, so they can sniff out conflicting interests with ease. Even if the rest of us do not learn to take advantage of others as they do, just learning their art of observation — without having to court anyone's favour, simply knowing what people want — is enough to avoid a great many contradictions and conflicts. In my view, people with antisocial personalities actually understand the Art of Communication better than ordinary people do.
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