A mature person can not only live independently, but also respond to life's many challenges with a steady mind. Imagine this: you are up against a deadline at work, and a colleague makes a mistake at the very last moment. Instead of being swept up by frustration or anger, you stay calm and propose a solution rationally — that is what maturity looks like. In this article, we explore three hallmarks of maturity in psychology, to help you handle the challenges of adult life, big and small.
Trait 1: Empathy — Seeing Things From Another Person's Point of View
In psychology, empathy refers to the ability to understand what other people feel (Cuff et al., 2016), and it is closely tied to two key concepts: theory of mind and perspective-taking thinking. Theory of mind is our ability to recognise that other people hold thoughts, feelings and beliefs different from our own (Premack & Woodruff, 1978; Doherty, 2009). A classic experiment illustrates this: if a child hears a story — one in which a character hides some sweets in a box, but another character moves the sweets to a different box without the first knowing — young children will usually assume the first character will go looking for the sweets in the new box (Wimmer & Perner, 1983). This shows they have not yet developed the ability to see a problem from a character's point of view. As theory of mind develops, at around the age of five, we become better at perspective-taking — that is, the ability to put ourselves in another's shoes and understand their point of view (Davis et al., 1966). This ability is crucial to becoming a mature person, because it forms the foundation of empathy.
Empathy is a sign of a person's maturity, because it requires us to step outside our own viewpoint and perspective in order to take in another person's thoughts. A mature person is better at understanding others in social settings, which lets them communicate more smoothly and show emotional intelligence. In adult life, having empathy can help us handle conflicts in our relationships more effectively, and build deeper connections.
How do you cultivate empathy and become a mature person?
We can practise perspective-taking by actively listening to other people's thoughts without passing judgement, and imagining ourselves in the situations they have been through to understand their point of view. Taking part in discussions on different topics and reflecting on our own and others' perspectives can help us develop empathy and cultivate a more mature mindset.
Trait 2: Self-Awareness — Knowing Yourself and Cultivating Self-Control
Self-awareness refers to the ability to recognise and understand your own strengths and weaknesses, as well as your position and role in society (Sutton, 2016). This includes understanding your responsibilities and grasping how your behaviour affects others. Self-awareness is closely linked to self-control (Alberts et al., 2011), because it asks not only that you understand your place in society, but also that you act in ways that meet others' expectations. In the workplace, a self-aware person knows when to put forward an idea and when to step back, and is clear about the scope of their work and their responsibilities — a very important part of adult life.
Self-awareness is a sign of maturity, because it shows that a person stays connected to reality and knows how they ought to fit into society. A mature person can control their impulses and behave appropriately in different situations. By contrast, someone who lacks self-awareness may say the wrong thing or behave inappropriately in social settings, revealing a poor understanding of their own place in society. Adult life calls for self-awareness, and for adjusting our behaviour to fit social norms.
How do you cultivate self-awareness and become a mature person?
We can reflect on past experiences, or seek feedback from colleagues or friends, and regularly assess how we are doing. Meditation practice can also help us understand our own thoughts and emotions more clearly, and so improve our capacity for self-control. This kind of self-reflective practice lets us understand ourselves more deeply, so that we can carry ourselves more maturely and gracefully in all kinds of situations.
Trait 3: Psychological Resilience — Accepting Challenges and Growing Through Adversity
Psychological resilience refers to the ability to adapt to adversity and grow through hardship (Southwick et al., 2014). Resilience is not about avoiding difficulties, but about cultivating the capacity to withstand pressure and grow from it. Adult life calls for psychological resilience, because it lets us meet challenges with a positive attitude — including thinking flexibly, staying optimistic, and drawing on different strategies to overcome obstacles — so that we can hold on to hope and stay focused on our goals even in adversity.
Psychological resilience is a sign of maturity, because it embodies a person's ability to stay emotionally steady and firmly resolved when facing the unavoidable difficulties of life. A mature person understands that setbacks are part of life, and does not let failure define them. They see challenges as opportunities for growth, and persevere through the process.
How do you cultivate psychological resilience and become a mature person?
We need a sense of meaning in life. Holocaust survivor and psychologist Viktor Frankl believed that having a sense of meaning is the key to enduring suffering (Frankl, 1992). He quoted Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how," underscoring the importance of holding on to a purpose in life. Historical figures such as Nelson Mandela possessed tremendous psychological resilience. Throughout his 27 years in prison, Mandela fought unwaveringly for justice and equality, and a mature mindset carried him through every hardship. To build psychological resilience and grow more mature, we can set long-term goals and stay optimistic in difficult times, cultivating a life of meaning.
Download the MindForest App and Learn to Become a Mature Person
On your journey of growth, MindForest is your companion, helping you learn psychology and become a more mature person. Here is what MindForest offers:
1) Personalised AI coaching to boost your empathy: Have in-depth conversations with an AI coach that analyses your relationships and strengthens your empathy. The coach guides you through perspective-taking and offers practical advice to deepen your understanding of others.
2) Inspired journalling to cultivate self-awareness: MindForest provides an automated journalling feature that records the thoughts, strengths and weaknesses in your everyday life to foster self-awareness. This kind of reflection helps you understand your personal growth and the areas where you need to improve.
3) Psychology courses to understand psychological resilience: MindForest offers a range of interactive courses, including one on psychological resilience. These courses provide practical insights and strategies to help you become a more psychologically mature person.
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References
Alberts, H. J. E. M., Martijn, C., & de Vries, N. K. (2011). Fighting self-control failure: overcoming ego depletion by increasing self-awareness. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 47(1), 58-62. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2010.08.004
Cuff, B. M. P., Brown, S. J., Taylor, L., & Howat, D. J. (2016). Empathy: A Review of the Concept. Emotion Review, 8(2), 144-153. https://doi.org/10.1177/1754073914558466
Davis, M. H., Conklin, L., Smith, A., & Luce, C. (1996). Effect of perspective taking on the cognitive representation of persons: a merging of self and other. Journal of personality and social psychology, 70(4), 713–726. https://doi.org/10.1037//0022-3514.70.4.713
Doherty, M. J. (2009). Theory of mind: How children understand others’ thoughts and feelings. Psychology Press.
Frankl, V. E. (1992). Man’s search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy (4th ed.) (I. Lasch, Trans.). Beacon Press.
Premack, D., & Woodruff, G. (1978). Does the chimpanzee have a theory of mind?. Behavioral and brain sciences, 1(4), 515-526.
Southwick, S. M., Bonanno, G. A., Masten, A. S., Panter-Brick, C., & Yehuda, R. (2014). Resilience definitions, theory, and challenges: interdisciplinary perspectives. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 5(1). https://doi.org/10.3402/ejpt.v5.25338
Sutton A. (2016). Measuring the Effects of Self-Awareness: Construction of the Self-Awareness Outcomes Questionnaire. Europe’s journal of psychology, 12(4), 645–658. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.v12i4.1178
Wimmer, H., & Perner, J. (1983). Beliefs about beliefs: representation and constraining function of wrong beliefs in young children’s understanding of deception.Cognition,13(1), 103–128.https://doi.org/10.1016/0010-0277(83)90004-5
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