As public figures, every word and move is held to the highest of standards, and a private life laid bare for all to see is simply part of the deal. Some say the more famous you are, the more pressure you have to absorb — and that high emotional intelligence is a compulsory subject for any entertainer. But given that Mirror's influence has grown more astonishing time after time, the weight they carry quietly is, at the end of the day, a kind of pressure that ordinary people — at the very least, you and I — simply cannot imagine.
Negativity Bias
Human beings have what is known as negativity bias — meaning we are more sensitive to negative information, while positive information is easily taken for granted. Even with 99 good reviews, the one bad review is the one we can't shake off.
In truth, anyone who faces pressure and demands — no matter how strong their self-esteem — cannot escape the ache inside. To protect their image, public figures wear a perpetual smile, and on top of that their work requires them to step into the emotions of all kinds of characters. Finding their own genuine feelings amid that emotional whirlpool is already no simple thing, so where would they find the time and energy to properly process the emotional struggles they face?
From a psychological perspective, a celebrity becomes a screen onto which everyone projects, bearing the longings of all their supporters, the loneliness and emptiness inside, the personal desires they cannot fulfil, the responsibility of an entire generation… even, in turbulent times, the expectations of a whole society's collective consciousness, and more.
So if Mirror were to disband, fans would feel anger and disappointment, a sense of betrayal — because the members would, after all, now belong to someone else.
Treating an idol as one's own possession, longing to control and command them — might this not be a reflection of the emptiness and powerlessness we feel within our own daily lives, so that we need a distant other through whom, by way of imagination, we can satisfy and fill that void?
The psychologist John Gottman proposed that the secret to building a stable, lasting relationship lies in the magical 5:1 ratio. If the positive interactions / positive experiences between partners are five times the negative interactions / negative experiences, the relationship is happier and more enduring. The same is true of how we relate to ourselves: one negative experience takes three positive experiences to cancel out; and if that negative experience comes from someone close to us, it takes five times as many, or more.
Imagine, then, that everything about yourself — your every breath — carried the risk of being criticised, blamed and ridiculed; it would take thousands, even tens of thousands of times the positive affirmation and praise to balance and repair the erosion of all those negative experiences.
In the face of pressure, we can train our psychological resilience in order to adapt and ease the strain. When we have higher psychological resilience, the pressure we feel in the face of the same negative situation is less than that of a person with lower resilience — and vice versa.
Attributional Style
Attributional style divides people's tendency to assign responsibility for events into internal and external attribution.
External attribution refers to certain people's tendency to interpret events as being beyond their control, with their own behaviour shaped by outside forces; as a result, they easily feel helpless, which in turn gives rise to negative emotions such as depression and anxiety. Conversely, internal attribution types tend to ascribe events to their own effort and input, believing they have the ability to take charge of a situation and solve problems — an attitude that is more proactive and engaged.
Self-Determination Theory
The self-determination theory proposed by the psychologists Deci and Ryan holds that individuals have three basic psychological needs that directly influence a person's sense of well-being.
- Competence: the individual feels that they are effective and capable within their environment
- Autonomy: the individual feels that their behaviour stems from their own will and their own choices
- Relatedness: the wish to maintain meaningful connections with others, and to feel oneself a part of a group
If everything a person does is driven entirely by the force of others, solely to meet others' expectations, then their sense of well-being comes under threat. In other words, an idol may, in their desire to please fans, take on too much pressure and lose themselves without realising it in trying to live up to others' expectations.
Mirror Are Human Too
When the world sees them only as flawless idols — caring only about the visual enjoyment and emotional comfort they bring, with no thought or concern for the flesh-and-blood souls behind the greasepaint — when the public pays so little attention to the effort behind them, just how great is the distance between the response they receive and their own expectations?
Celebrities carry more pressure and more negative thoughts than ordinary people. Setting aside the question of whether they can bear it by silently enduring it themselves, how much courage does it take for them to be willing to share their negative emotions with friends, let alone with the public?
Holding the enormous influence the public has bestowed on them, with all sorts of uncertainty on the road ahead, and worrying that the people they care about will be affected by that very influence… true enough, an entertainer's work is to bring joy to the public — but please do not over-consume your idols, only to leave behind weary, gasping castaway souls.
"May my darkness keep me awake — for in the dark there is light, and my heart is clear"
We hope that everyone who silently bears the pressure of living for others can face it openly, embrace their own grief, accept and care for the self that is in pain, slowly transform that suffering into strength and hope, and bring themselves and those around them along to the next step.
References
Gottman, J. M., & Rogers, G. M. (2001). The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 15(3), 279–281. https://doi.org/10.1891/0889-8391.15.3.279
Kelley, H. H. (1967). Attribution theory in social psychology. In D. Levine (ed.), Nebraska Symposium on Motivation (Volume 15, pp. 192-238). Lincoln: University of Nebraska Press.
Rozin, P., & Royzman, E. B. (2001). Negativity Bias, Negativity Dominance, and Contagion. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5(4), 296–320. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327957pspr0504_2
Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwjQ6-GNqNv1AhUyL6YKHQ7tDXAQFnoECAsQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fselfdeterminationtheory.org%2FSDT%2Fdocuments%2F2000_RyanDeci_SDT.pdf&usg=AOvVaw3BIsfvCEqQTHx2ISZCZeqx
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