Not sure what you want? Start by drawing what matters

What is a value, and how is it different from a goal?

This exercise comes from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), developed by the American psychologists Steven Hayes, Kirk Strosahl and Kelly Wilson. In ACT a "value" is the way you want to treat people and do things, such as "being patient with my family" or "working carefully". It isn't a goal to reach, a rule about what you "should" do, or what other people expect of you.

A goal is like a flag on the road: reach it and it's done. A value is like the direction a compass points: you never arrive, but every step can head that way. So even when a goal falls through or life gets busy, you can still do one small thing today in the way you care about.

Looking at four areas of life, and how close you came this week to the way you care about, draws on the Bull's-Eye values exercise designed by the Swedish psychologist Tobias Lundgren and colleagues, and on the "acting on your values" skill in the WHO self-help guide Doing What Matters in Times of Stress. We didn't reuse the original target picture or its wording; we drew a compass and wrote our own questions.

A gap isn't a score. Seeing that one direction is far away only shows you somewhere you care about but haven't had much time for lately. This exercise isn't therapy and doesn't replace professional support; if life has felt directionless for a long time, or your mood has stayed low, talking it through with a counsellor or psychologist will take you further.

How it works

1. 1In four parts of life (relationships, work and study, health and growth, leisure and community), write a line or two: here, what kind of person do you want to be? Skip any you're not sure about; if you're not sure about all four, you can start from someone you admire.
2. 2Drag a line for each to mark how much of this week you acted the way you wrote; the path on the compass lights up as you go.
3. 3Choose one direction to take forward: the one with the biggest gap, or the one you most want to start with.
4. 4Look at what most often gets in the way when you head that way (a thought, a feeling or a situation), and keep it all on your values compass.

References

1. Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
2. Lundgren, T., Luoma, J. B., Dahl, J., Strosahl, K., & Melin, L. (2012). The Bull's-Eye Values Survey: A psychometric evaluation. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 19(4), 518–526.
3. World Health Organization. (2020). Doing what matters in times of stress: An illustrated guide. World Health Organization.
4. Harris, R. (2009). ACT made simple: An easy-to-read primer on acceptance and commitment therapy. New Harbinger.