What's underneath the feeling on top?

What is emotion awareness?

Emotion-focused therapy (EFT) was developed by psychologist Leslie Greenberg and colleagues. It sees emotions as carrying information and needs: rather than pushing a feeling down or rushing to analyse it, it starts by hearing what the feeling is saying.

Often the feeling that shows first is a "surface" emotion, such as anger, irritation or numbness; underneath it there is often a more vulnerable "core" emotion, such as hurt, fear, shame or sadness. When you can feel and name the core emotion, the need inside it becomes clearer: to be seen, to matter, to feel safe, to be cared for, to be respected. Knowing what you need, you can respond to yourself kindly, or ask someone for it.

This is a self-help exercise adapted from emotion coaching in EFT. It isn't therapy and doesn't replace professional care. Some of EFT's deeper work, such as chair work or working through trauma, belongs with a therapist. If some feelings stay heavy, or connect with old hurts, talking them through with a counsellor is a much safer way to go.

This exercise is adapted from emotion coaching in Leslie Greenberg's emotion-focused therapy (Greenberg, 2002; Greenberg & Paivio, 1997).

EFT here means emotion-focused therapy, not Emotional Freedom Techniques ("tapping").

How it works

1. 1Recall a recent moment when a feeling rose up, and notice where you feel it in your body and how strongly.
2. 2Name the surface emotion that showed first, then gently look underneath: hurt, fear, shame, sadness, loneliness, or the surface one itself.
3. 3Find what that core emotion needs, then choose a response: a kind line to yourself, or how you might ask someone for it. You finish with a feeling card.

References

1. Greenberg, L. S. (2002). Emotion-focused therapy: Coaching clients to work through their feelings. American Psychological Association.
2. Greenberg, L. S., & Paivio, S. C. (1997). Working with emotions in psychotherapy. Guilford Press.
3. Greenberg, L. S. (2004). Emotion-focused therapy. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 11(1), 3–16.