When a feeling hits too hard, check the facts first

What is checking the facts?

Check the facts comes from dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), developed by the psychologist Marsha Linehan. DBT includes a skills training for handling intense emotions, and checking the facts is one of its emotion regulation skills: when a feeling hits hard, separate what a camera would record from your reading of it, then ask: does the size of the feeling fit the facts?

It isn't about proving you shouldn't feel this way. You may find the feeling is bigger than the facts, and then you try one small thing in the opposite direction to what it urges. Or you may find that what happened really is heavy: losing someone who matters, really being treated unfairly, real danger. Then the feeling fits, and the next step is dealing with what happened.

It's also different from a thought record. A thought record is a full look at a thought, finding thinking traps and weighing the evidence; checking the facts is much shorter, starts from the feeling, and is made for the moment a feeling is big, done in a few minutes.

No study has tested checking the facts on its own; it is one part of DBT skills training, and the full skills training, led by trained instructors, is supported by research. Looking at an event from a different angle (what psychologists call reappraisal) easing painful feelings is also well supported. This exercise isn't therapy and doesn't replace professional support. If your feelings are often too big to manage, practising with a counsellor or psychologist will take you further.

If you're in danger right now, leave first and get somewhere safe; if you're thinking of hurting yourself, please reach out first: The Samaritans Hong Kong (24-hour) 2896 0000Emergency services 999

Check the facts is adapted from the emotion regulation skills in Marsha Linehan's dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) skills training; the questions, steps and examples are our own.

How it works

1. 1Feeling: pick the biggest feeling right now and rate how strong it is.
2. 2Facts: write only what a video camera would record: who, what was said, what was done.
3. 3Reading: write how you see it, then two other possibilities; then look at the worst case, whether you could cope, and whether there is real danger now.
4. 4Does it fit: drag the frame to mark how strong a feeling the facts call for, and see whether the feeling's circle fits inside; give your verdict, then rate the feeling again.
5. 5Next: if it fits, deal with what happened; if it's bigger than the facts, do one small thing in the opposite direction. It all goes on your facts card.

References

1. Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
2. Neacsiu, A. D., Eberle, J. W., Kramer, R., Wiesmann, T., & Linehan, M. M. (2014). Dialectical behavior therapy skills for transdiagnostic emotion dysregulation: A pilot randomized controlled trial. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 59, 40–51.
3. Webb, T. L., Miles, E., & Sheeran, P. (2012). Dealing with feeling: A meta-analysis of the effectiveness of strategies derived from the process model of emotion regulation. Psychological Bulletin, 138(4), 775–808.